“Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee.”
― Ernest Hemingway, A Clean Well Lighted Place
What are we?
Yes, Human beings…
But No! What exactly does it mean to be a human being?
What lies within us?
In a nick of time, it seems that we are holding a great miraculous power within us. That we are more than what we actually seem to be. That we are something extra ordinary or super being. But then in a sudden flash, all these thoughts, ideas and wonderment are so lost and gone, to be left with “Nothing”. No matter how much you try to move out of this nothingness, it occupies you.
To me, this nothingness is the worst state to be in. It pulls you in like gravity. No emotions in particular, but just a blank space. Sadness, happiness, anger, excitement, love, confusion, despair…. None!
Either all these emotions are gathered inside making us senseless, or there is really no emotion at all… Nothing. You no longer feel like doing anything. There is just an urge to run away. To be at some place far away, where no one knows you.
What is it? What should we call it?
It feels like getting stuck somewhere in between two dimensions. Where time is continuously ticking but you are ceased. The mind, the heart, the spirit, the body, nothing seems to coordinate. You want to let go; you want to run away but still you are bound to stay. You have to wait for nothing.
You are free and yet you are not.
You are trying and yet you are not.
You are moving and yet you are not.
You are tired and yet you are not.
You are living and yet you are not.
You are thinking and yet you are not.
You are you and yet you are not.
You are everywhere but nowhere.
What a helpless, pathetic, full of nothing state it is!
Why is it so? Bit by bit you are being torn, you are shattering but still you are there, struggling to keep up. A never-ending time to be in.
An eternity of mess but still somewhere in there, lies a small, gleamed hope that shines from the surface of nothingness. Like a nightingale marks its tiny glowing presence over a dark field. It shines like a little bundle of joy. It makes that dark field pretty with its mini flickering spark. Such tiny and shiny hope is there inside us that hovers the nothingness.
What will come out of it???
“I must be made of nothing to feel so much nothing.”
Michelle Hodkin, The Evolution of Mara Dyer